Baggage claim and reality check...

Why is it that traveling brings clarity for me? I am enamored with flying and found myself settled in on the airplane with a plethora of thoughts racing around in my head. I opted to journal my thoughts in my little notebook and then transfer them here later. Later is now as I was too tired last night and we have been too busy for me to do it before now. SO, here goes!

I was DEFYING GRAVITY tonight and it was incredible!! The view from the plane was breathtaking... big, white, puffy clouds and we were above them! I have seen this many times, but for some reason tonight felt different. As I stared out at this bed of softness, I felt my shoulders relax, my chest was calm and I was at peace. I was lost in space.

I have learned that I really do love to fly. Before TCC (my scrapbooking group of gal pals), I never had much reason to fly, but I have been blessed to visit different friends that live in other states and fly quite a bit over the years. I like that I know my own airport so well and that it doesn't bother me to go there. I like the anonymity of the airport... I could be anybody. I like watching people and trying to sort out who they are and why they are flying to their destination. I love being high above the world below, spotting swimming pools and baseball diamonds.

There is a freedom in flying that suits me. I am off to an adventure. I am a stranger to everyone unless I choose to engage in conversation. I am unavailable to everyone while the plane is in the air and I can choose to do anything I want or nothing at all.

There is an element of risk that intrigues me and makes me think. Will I arrive safely? Will I make it home? Morbid as that sounds, it fascinates me that a simple flight can prompt me to take stock in my life. I sit and reflect on things from way back in my life as well as counting my blessings. It is a great way to "wake up" just a little bit and perhaps reprioritize things.

As we prepare to land in Reno, I gaze out the window at the sunset. The clouds are now dark, brooding and mysterious. They reach out as far as I can see until they meet the vibrant hues of red and orange that make the sunset. The Captain has announced that it is 30 degrees and snowing as we land. Sure enough, I can see snow flurries rushing past my window at an angle. I can't wait to arrive and experience that.

The storm is hitting hard enough that the plane drops out of the air more than once. I quickly opt to think about something else... I wonder if it will be a problem that I didn't bring a winter coat? I am from Cali after all. What do I know about true winter weather? Perhaps the first part of our journey will include some shopping? Time will tell. Finally, we have landed, I have met a super nice man that was sitting in my row and I am now off to get my luggage and meet my twin. I can't wait to see her! Although our families were together in September, it has been a long time since we have had our "face time". This will be good.


Solitude - something I don't get enough of. I need to make time for it, the stillness and quiet restore me. I have learned how to just sit, listen and be, but life in 2007 did not accomodate that. Perhaps 2008 should.

Breathe - a necessity for my sanity and survival. Drue reminds me to breathe all the time, 3 slow, deep breaths. I have done this more and more lately and it really helps. Now to make it a common practice. I also love taking "30 seconds of silence". Just the smallest break can bring calm.

Consciousness - be aware of my stresses and pressures. When I realize that I uptight, I must gain perspective and regroup. After that, I can either tackle the problem or choose to let it go.

Just random thoughts for me to reflect on here at my blogging place. I hope someone else might get some use out of them too. Lord knows we all could use tools and strategies for living well.

Now to blog about the last 2 days with Shauna!! It is 2:44 a.m., so it will have to wait. I tell ya, that girl is a bad influence on me! She stays up so late. lol She will try to blame me, but don't believe it... I am in bed at 11:30 these days, ask Scott!

Shanna

Zzzzzzzzz...............

Arrived safely...

Great evening together...

Watched a movie and stayed up too late...

Must sleep...

Will blog later.

Thanks ladies for the well wishes on traveling. Your hugs will be delivered tomorrow when Shauna feels a bit better.

Night all, Shanna

Leavin' on a jet plane...

...except I do know when I will be back again. lol I will be back on Friday night. Hopefully my little boy will be all well by then. Poor guy has been so sick these past few days. I will try not to worry while I am away. After all, he has his dad, gram, and auntie all looking after him. I am SO thankful for them!!!

So, just a few more things to do before I fly outta here. My buddy, Vince, is a HUGE sweetheart and is taking me to the airport. I will have to see if I can snap a cell pic of us. lol That would be funny to post next time. Gotta start documenting the trip from the start, right?? Chris will hang with gram until dad gets home and I will try to blog tonight sometime from Shauna's laptop.

I will sign off now and keep this short. Have to get these 1099s done before I go and blogging won't get that done.

Hugs to all! Shanna

Slow this ride down!!

Holy heck! Things are moving so fast!! I am flying off to Reno to spend time with my pal, Shauna, and I can't wait! We live in different states, so our contact is usually by phone and email. It will be so cool to just walk into another room and say something to make her laugh. I have my Cooking Light mags set aside, a few decks of cards cuz I love solitaire, some books that I bought thinking that I would have time to read, a few good movies for us to watch and my cd player. I am good to go. I just need to actually get there so that I can relax and unwind.

Chris has been sick since Friday, so we are hoping he will feel better before I go. If not, WonderDad and Gramma will be on the scene! It has been a bit crazy squeezing in temp taking, feeding, watering and medicating him between running errands and putting in my hours at work, but it has worked out. I suspect he is on the mend as he is now playing XBox. That is always the first sign of recovery. My prayer now is to stay healthy myself and not compromise my trip.

A big snow storm was expected in Reno today and there are a few more storms set to blow through from Tuesday on. Keep your fingers crossed that my little puddle jumper plane makes it both in and out of the airport this week. lol It is interesting trying to pack for snowy weather when you are from sunny Cali. I haven't the faintest idea how to really dress for success (or warmth). I will be fine, but I feel pretty nerdy for not knowing. I have figured out that I look RIDICULOUS in snow hats of any kind, so I won't be adopting THAT fashion statement!

I will close with a few pics from my retreat day in the mountains with my pal, Peter, and his sweet girl, Sootie. We had a great time celebrating our birthdays together by hanging out for a day in Crestline. It was brisk and cold, windy as ever, and there was still snow on the side of the road. After a lovely lunch and a 2.5 mile walk around the lake, we visited over a cup of Canadian tea before I headed home. A terrific day spent with a dear friend. Thanks, Peter! Can't wait til next time.

Hugs, Shanna

Oh HAIL!!!!

Okay, so I thought I was crazy when I saw snow today! I was driving Chris to school and thought, "Holy cow, what the heck is that white stuff on the road? Is that snow on the lawn?? Wait, there is white stuff on that car too... and the roof!! Whoa, where am I?? Am I awake?!?!" lol

Sure enough, our little town made the news tonight with reports of the white stuff... sadly, not snow, but hail! We had the hail storm of all hail storms here in sunny So. Cal. and I tell ya, I was plain ol' giddy! The rooftops were dusted, the lawns were sprinkled, and some areas were covered! It was amazing and BEAUTIFUL!!!! Our neighborhood did not get any, which is weird since we are so close to the mountains, but the folks a few blocks down sure did.

Speaking of snow... I am hoping to switch around my Reno flights tomorrow and will be leaving right when the snow storms are expected. I have only seen snow fall one time and can't wait to see it again, but I really don't want it to interfere with flying. Perhaps I will do the "NO SNOW" dance before my flight... think anyone will even notice me at LAX?? lol

More cool things to blog about, but not tonight. It is almost tomorrow (11:50 p.m.) and I need to head home.

Hugs to all! Pleasant dreams.

Shanna

The birthday of a hero!

Happy birthday, Shauna!!! I celebrate you everyday, but today is super special!

Thank you for all of the laughter you have brought to my life. I remember when we first met. I had only been in cyberspace for a few months and you were one of the first people that I ever dared to have an internet chat with. You know, you could have been a predator! lol We met at Jangle and I quickly discovered that 3 of us shared the same name. You and Shauna just neglected to spell your name correctly. lol Anyway, you and I hit it off right away and before long we discovered we were both night owls. We would chat away in the middle of the night, you with your lower case letters and tales of the Tasmanian devil and me with my limited scrapping knowledge and loads of intention. lol I can still remember praying that you would make it safely back to the computer as you would leave for the post office at almost midnight to make some contest entry deadline! lol

We discovered that we both had skinny, blonde boys that were the same age, you had lived in Cali not far from me, and we were both married to men that we adore. Our birthdays would be just 5 days apart, although you were the older one. ;o) We have had a blast in a multitude of states (OR, CA, and AZ), have shared tons of late night emails, camped out in one another's homes, and our recent Disney adventure was the BEST! It was terrific to finally blend our 2 families. So many memories, too many to type here. Capt. Underpants books for Spencer, yea, that's one that you were really happy about.

I am happy to say that the depth of our friendship has had years to root. I feel so blessed for the time that we have shared and I look forward to the adventures ahead. Just think, I could end up in Reno! Lord only knows what trouble I could find there!

Happy birthday, my friend. I hope you are snuggled up with your laptop (as Dave is snuggled up with his) and have a great night.

Hugs, Shanna

A day of remembrance...

January 18th... so many emotions attached to this day. Ones of sadness and ones of gladness.

It was 3 years ago, January 18, 2005, that I lost my friend, Holly. I had the privilege of becoming her friend about a year before she passed away and I had the true honor of caring for her during her final months. I figured out today that Holly and I likely spent about 90 days out of 100 together at the end. Heck, that was more time than I spent with my family and she didn't even get pissy with me. I would be tired of me if I spent that much time with myself. lol

Holly was a tv-aholic and she had seen a news report about obesity and a link to cervical cancer. Later that day, as we left her radiation treatment, she told me of this news and asked me to promise her that I would do better, that I would take my health seriously and not let what was happening to her, happen to me. Everything in my body and soul was screaming "NO!" I was too angry to think about myself... my energy was focused on cancer! I did not want to try to do better about anything, how could I? It was all I could do to find the joy in a day and say some naughty thing that would make Holly laugh. At the same time, however, how do you look into the face of a dying friend and deny her? So I crossed every finger, put them behind my back and said, "Yes, I will do better. You will not die in vain, I promise." AH! Why did I throw the "I promise" on there? Now I really AM committed.

By January 18, 2006, I had attended a 3 month bereavement group at the Hospice, had continued monthly meetings on my own with the members of the group, and had been working on pulling my life together. I had turned 39 just three days earlier and realized that time was of the essence. I uncrossed my fingers and got started. I started eating smarter and less. I was sure that I couldn't walk further than around the block cuz I was so out of shape, so I began with one time around. Heaven forbid I should push myself. Before long, I was driving my car in circles through the surrounding streets trying to figure out how far a whole MILE would be! I eventually joined a gym, started shopping at Trader Joe's, signed up for a website to track my food, calories and exercise, and I bought work out clothes! Who had I become??

The journey through 2006 was an adventure in learning and doing. My thinking shifted from weight loss to living my best life. I want to be around as long as I can for my family and self. There are no guarantees in this life, I have no idea what might be my undoing, so living my best life is the goal. Weight loss was the bonus. Slowly but surely and with a tremendous amount of faith and hard work, I took off 65 pounds. Every pound was with thanks to Holly. Had she not made me promise, I would never have done it. I owe her my healthy self, my renewed happiness, strength in character, and my thanks.

I sit here tonight, as January 18th comes to a close, and I am proud to say that I have maintained my weight this year and my eating habits, knowledge and dedication are in tact. The challenges that defined 2007 did not define my thinking or how I coped. I decided how to manage the stress and pressure of last year and I did one helluva job. I now look forward to walking 3 miles, I seek out hills and inclines, I hike the canyon and even have an annual parking pass, I have taken up batting at the cages, I can go an hour on the elliptical, I take an hour step class and I love to cook healthy meals! You really outta try my crock pot chicken vegetable soup. I am back on my game; eating well, exercising, getting sleep, and feeding my spirit. My only wish is that I could thank Holly face to face. I know she is watching all of this and I hope that I have made her proud, but I wish she were here to celebrate each day with me.


Snack bar at the ballpark that was renamed for Holly

Thank you, my friend. Thank you for being my wake up call, for believing in me when I didn't, for making me promise to live out the life you were cheated of. I honor you every day that I am alive and will never forget you. Your children will always know that I am here for them and I eagerly await the day that they can return to visit me. I will be forever indebted to you for choosing me to care for you. Our time together was without a doubt one of the biggest blessings of my life. I was forever changed by our time together and as hard as it was, I would do it all again. I love you and miss you. See you again next year at the ballpark when we 'have lunch' together. xoxox, me

Don't look back, always look ahead.

That is what my fortune cookie says, anyway. I really couldn't agree more! I am so ready to start anew. I don't regret 2007 because I grew by leaps and bounds as a human, but I am most certainly ready to move forward in 2008! Besides, 8 is my favorite number! I know that 2008 will bring struggles and strife, but I pray that it is a better year for all.

I am most grateful for many things in 2007... improved health and stability for my family, Aimee graduated from college, our remodel is further along, we had an amazing baseball experience with Chris, and I watched the blessings in my life unfold before my eyes as friends and family came from all around to offer love and support in my time of need. It is an incredible thing to realize that you are loved THAT much. I am one incredibly lucky gal and because of that, I am grateful.

As I work toward my "new normal", I find myself sorting through alot of emotions. I am eager to tackle them all right now and put them in their proper place, but God has taught me so much about patience over the past 3 years that I know to bide my time, have faith, and stay open to the lessons. I look forward to the spiritual growth that will come if I am able to do that.

I am so excited to be back on my healthy lifestyle now too! 2006 was such a successful year with eating right, drinking water, exercising and losing 65 pounds! I feel so lucky to have learned all that I have about good food, how to survive when you can't shop and cook, and eating while under stress. As a result of all that, my success for 2007 was not gain weight. Well, I only gained 9 pounds in 10 months! I consider that a victory, one almost as big as the 65 pound loss. The cool part is that as of my birthday last Tuesday, I have already taken off 10 pounds, so I am actually lighter than I was in 2007. Yea!!!!

One day at a time... and looking ahead, not back. Roll on 2008!

xoxo, Shanna